REFLECTION
In 2005, I gave an interview to “60 Minutes” where I sounded a little bit like Scottie Scheffler. I’d won three Super Bowls in my first four years as a starter, and I was explaining to the interviewer how, when I looked at my trophies and Super Bowl rings, I found myself thinking, “there’s gotta be more than this…this can’t be all…”
I was 27 years old. I was young. My first son, Jack, wouldn’t be born for another year-and-a-half. Football was a very important part of my life. But similar to Scottie, I could feel myself resisting the expectation placed on elite athletes, by the media and by society in general, to use professional achievement as the primary meter for personal satisfaction.
“What else is there for me?” I asked myself during that interview.
“What’s the answer?” the interviewer wondered.
“I wish I knew,” I said.
I would figure it out, but it took time. The lessons came in stages. First, that there is more to life than playing football and winning championships. Then I learned exactly what those other things were. Then, I learned how they all fit together so that what I did on the field supported the things I did off the field, and vice versa. And finally, most importantly, I learned that it was the pursuit of excellence in each of these areas where I found the most joy, not in the achievements themselves. It was the process, not the outcome.
I’m 25 years removed from the beginning of my pro football career, and a lot has changed since that interview. I have three kids now. I’ve played for two teams. I’ve started companies, invested in start-ups, taken ownership stakes in teams in multiple sports. I have teammates and employees now. I’m a broadcaster. I am a spokesperson, a business partner, a father, a friend and a brother and a son. I’m a decent golfer and a good leader. I have deep ties to both my local community and the global community.
Like most people, I have a lot going on. I don’t just do one thing. I do many things, though not all at the same time. I can’t. No one can—at least not if they want to be great at as many things as possible without sacrificing the satisfaction that can be derived from pursuing all the other things they care about.
LESSON
We all have different parts of our lives. You can think of them like a pyramid. At the top is yourself, and your physical, mental, and emotional health. Then there’s the relationship with your significant other or partner. Then you have your children, then your work, then your extended family, your friends, your hobbies, and finally your greater community.
Every layer of that pyramid is a priority. At any given moment, one of these priorities is taking precedence over the others. And the question is always whether it’s the right priority for the moment. That is the question it seems Scottie Scheffler is wrestling with: do I have my priorities straight? But I think figuring out that answer is fairly straightforward. When the priority is to take care of your mental and physical health, which is #1 always, that’s what you do. First you take care of yourself, then your partner, then your kids, and so on. When the priority is to take care of your career, whether it’s a three-week training camp or four rounds of major championship golf, that's what you do. When it’s time to get to work, work becomes the priority.
The trick is recognizing which aspect of your life is most pressing, from moment to moment, and then learning how to prioritize what it takes to be great in that aspect when it matters, so that your actions and achievements in that area help improve all the other areas of your life instead of take away from them.
As part of his answer at Media Day, for example, Scottie said he’d rather be a better father and husband than a good golfer. And my question is: why are those mutually exclusive? Sure, they’re different blocks on the pyramid, but they’re part of the same pyramid. They’re connected!
For instance, I think part of being a great father is being a great example of doing what it takes to take care of your family. I chose to do it by playing football. My dedication to the sport, the hours of practice, the moments when I was laser focused—those were times when I believe I was doing the best possible thing for my family and my kids, by prioritizing my profession and teaching, by example, what it takes to be really good at your job, what it takes to follow through on commitments, what it takes to be a great teammate; and showing them, also by example, that work is a big part of all of our lives.
Remember, your children are watching everything. They see what you do in every aspect of your life and how you do it. Reading bedtime stories and helping them with homework are not the only ways to be a great parent. And neither is winning Super Bowls or MVPs. Being a great football player didn’t make me a great dad, but how I became a great player certainly had an impact—from showing up day in and day out, to doing whatever it took to get better, be successful, be a role model, and to provide.
APPLICATION
I’ve come to understand two things about the pursuit of personal satisfaction and professional achievement with my years of perspective: 1) there is no one aspect of life that is so all-encompassing that it will provide the satisfaction you are looking for; and 2) whatever level of satisfaction you are trying to achieve with your professional accomplishments, it will almost never come in the moment, and it will sometimes take years before you find full appreciation and gratitude for it.
The point is, it’s never about the professional accomplishment itself. It’s about the pursuit of that accomplishment. It’s not about whatever satisfaction you’re looking for, it’s the pursuit of that satisfaction in whatever area of your life has become the priority in that moment. Don’t misunderstand, when you finally achieve something you want, you will have a moment of euphoria, or a glimpse into this joy you dreamed of having, but very quickly you realize that the sun will come up the next day and you’re right back to living a life filled with priorities and responsibilities that need to be attended to.
The good news is, the joy and happiness you’re actually looking for is available to you every day, in those little bits and moments when you are doing what you’re supposed to be doing to service those priorities and responsibilities. When you’re taking care of your physical and mental health, that should bring you joy and happiness. When you’re taking care of your partner or spending time with your kids, that should bring you happiness. When you’re taking care of your business, that should bring you happiness as well. So it’s not any one thing. It’s everything. It’s the things that happen every day, every week, every month, every year when you wake up with purpose and you do what you say you’re going to do.
You won’t be perfect. Nobody is. You will fail and disappoint people along the way. But if you stay committed to your goals over time, even when your priorities shift (which they do at times), then you can be confident that you are living a life of integrity and purpose. When you finally take the time to reflect on your life and you ask yourself, however many years or decades from now, “did I live my life the way that I wanted to?” and “am I proud of the life I lived?”, you will be happy with your answer.
Your actions reflect your priorities. That’s what you need to live up to everyday. That’s where ultimate satisfaction is to be found, because the life you lead is the lesson you teach, and there’s no greater reward than living a full life that both inspires and enables the people in your world to do the same.
